


And Then He Was Gone

by ExplodedPen



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-03
Updated: 2004-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:51:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExplodedPen/pseuds/ExplodedPen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The death of a crewmember hits everyone hard. But all Hoshi can think, is how grateful she is that it wasn't him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then He Was Gone

**Ensign Hoshi Sato: Personal Log:**

He'd taken it hard.

God I don't know how I made it through today, knowing that when I wake up tomorrow he won't be there.

But he'd taken it especially hard.

I can see it now, the look of concentration on his face holding his phase pistol up ready to fire.

I can still hear people shouting, screaming, yelling and that last surprised breath of air he released before hitting the ground.

I don't remember much after that; I do remember the vacant expressions on everyone's faces. You could see death in their eyes, welling holes of depression threatening to engulf all who knew him.

The Captain didn't say a word, not one single solitary word. I couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes. Yes, though his face was expressionless his eyes told of untold misery, fear, guilt and hate.

But he took it hardest, he didn't respond in any way. Just stared vacantly at the stars as if remembering forgotten lessons or memories. I tried to talk to him, nothing seemed to register then finally he said softly:

_"It should've been me."_

I can't even cry now, I want to so desperately; I want to scream and sob at the unfairness of it all-the unjustness.

He's gone, one shot and he's gone.

The ship seems quieter, now all I can hear is the gently tap on the crew's consoles and the slight quiver whenever they say something.

It's hit everybody hard.

We all knew it could happen, that one day we'd go to a planet and not all of us would return. But we never believed it. We never believed in our heart of hearts that someone would die.

It'd been a rescue mission.

Malcolm had been captured; Trip, Captain Archer and several other security personnel went to get him back. For some reason I went too. I'm not sure if it was because I have feelings for him, feelings I probably shouldn't have.

Everything had gone smoothly, when we found Malcolm he was in a bloody, beaten state-but he was still standing. I remember Trip helping him back through the compound telling him everything was gonna be ok. I remember the first shot he pushed him out the way and stood there with a phaser in his hand.

He's gone.

Those words keep echoing round my brain. Two simple tiny words and they won't leave me alone.

But he took it hardest, knowing he died for him and as I left his side he put an arm to stop me and just hugged me, close.

And we cried, we cried for him.

But the worst thing is,

I was so glad it wasn't Malcolm.

Trip died and all I could think was if Malcolm was alright.

When Malcolm hugged me I think I cried tears of relief.

Trip was dead.

But at least Malcolm was alive.


End file.
